i am for sure coming to idaho so il be there by that night or the next day!!

So hopefully i will be able to get to go to Idaho this summer which will fucking rock. I havent seen any real friends in a long ass time. I fuckin miss hangin out with Robyn and Rachel and everyone. It makes me sad to think that The only person from Idaho i have seen in the past 2 years is Jennie and i havent even seen her in a year. It is rediculous. I definately have to come up this summer. And to all you bitches who are reading this that live in L-Town, when i get there you better buy me a beer

so i havent written a journal in forever and usually i dont write anything personal but right now i just need to vent...

so life has been fucking crazy for me since my six months have been up....ive been out everyfucking night and dont come home till midnight or at all...

its cause i live so fuckin far outa the way it is a waste of gas to come home when i am going to go right back out again

so i have been hangin out with this chick Talen ( her name is Helen but we call her Talen) and she has either directly or indirectly caused way too much fucking drama for me lately

when i was hangin out with her i introduced her to a lot of my homies cause she just moved here from NC and didnt have a shit load of friends so i gave her some new people to hang out with and we got along great.

then one night we hung out with ryan again which was really weird...it was like the second time i had seen him since he cheated on shawna with me and i freaked out on him. the other time he was hittin on me and asked me out on a date we never went on. N e ways, so we hung out with him and like andy a few times and everything was chill.

Then i got pulled over cause my seat belt doesnt work right and isnt all the way back (its one of those ones that is on a track and is suppose to pull all the way forward and shit) ne ways i got pulled over for that like a week before my six months were up. The cop was a complete dick and was like threatenin to impound my car if i ddint get my registration out quick enough. Then he told me he was going to call my mom so i had to deal with her finding out. She didnt find out about the last time i got pulled over.

Ne who i couldnt really do much cause i couldnt drive people around so we hung out with ryan a lot that week. Him and Andy got into a stupid ass fight and were talking shit about each other so we couldnt hang out with both of them. And then both of them liked Talen which was weird to hear them both talk about how hot she is.

Ne ways one night we were trying to find a place to drink and ended up going to this guy Nik's house to drink. Talen downed 3 mikey's in a half an hour and passed out next to the toilet. I dunno. Basically i got really drunk and was making out with ryan and we probably would have had sex if Nik didnt decide he was going to sleep in the living room with us. So i went outside and was having a cig and Nik came out there with me and somehow we started making out. I dunno the whole night was pretty crazy.

Then like the next week Talen is telling me how her and Ryan really like each other and shit and i was just tellin her not to be a stupid bitch and go out with him cause i know he is a man whore and he is going to cheat on her just like he has every other one of his girlfriends...i mean hello i was one of the girls he cheated on a g/f with and i didnt even know he had one.

And she got all butt hurt tellin me its her life and she has to make her own mistakes and i was like whatever dude...do what you want...he is going to cheat on you.

I started hangin out with Nik more and more and started liking him. The 2nd day after we got drunk i hung out with him and Andy and had a bunch of fun hangin out and shit. Then after I dropped Andy off we went and chilled at Mingus. We like sat and talked for like 3 hours and then we started fooling around. It was like fucking 1 in the morning with a fuckin spotlight beams down from the street into my fuckin window and we had to put our cigs out and like get everything situated and shit. So the cop bops around and comes knockin on the window.

And of course it was the cop that gave Nik his MIP and shit and possetion of a deadly weapon or some shit so they knew each other. I was about to freak cause i didnt want to get into n e more trouble with my mom. But the cop was kewl and just told us he was srry for spoilin the moment and we would have to move out party somewhere else. Then he wanted all our cigs and he just broke them instead of being a dick.

So that kinda ruined the night.

Then we all went campin that weekend and got totally fucked up. it was awesome. there were a shit load of people out there and like we were out in the boonies so no cops were going to waste their gas to come out and bust us.

Then fuckin Ryan is callin me up asking me why im talking shit about him and i had no clue what the fuck he was talking about. the only shit talkin i had heard was him talkin shit about andy and andy talkin shit about him. I dont know where the fuck he got the idea i was talkin shit but it really pissed me off.

Then fuckin Talen calls me up and tells me she is really stupid and is going out with Ryan. I was like wow. Your a dumb bitch. Straight up. Like you should have a little more respect for yourself then to go out with a guy who isnt goign to be faithful to you. The whole point of having a relationship is saying hey, i like you and i want to be faithful to you and look, we got this niffy label. And the only one who is going to be faithful is her.

What ever

Then she has to go to Palm Springs for spring break. So when she is gone i find out from Ryan and Nik that every fucking time i would tell her something i know about Ryan she would run and tell him " Oh Bridget is saying this and saying your an Asshole and blah blah i dont know what to think is this true..." god damn how stupid can you get? you think a guy who whores around is going to tell you that he whores around HELLLO welcome to earth retard.

Fuck. So i had to call her out and give her a nice bitching too. that was fun. I must admit that i liked doing it.

Then i had a long talk with ryan cause of course she called him up afterwards and told him that i had bitched her out. Go figure. So he asked me if i had been talkin shit and i told him the only think i had told her is that you cheated on your ex with me and as long as i have known you you have been a man whore. I aint go shit too hide. So he said that was fine and he had told her the same thing and that he believed me over her cause we have been homies a lot longer and blah blah blah

So that got all settled

Then she all tells me that Nik and i were over when we werent

the list goes on and on

im just fucking sick of the drama

I got enough things to worry about on my own them who is saying what about who behind their backs

Although i was kind of a scandalous bitch. I dropped shawna off to hang out with Ryan lol. When we left Andy Nik and Brandon were all bettin that Ryan fucked her that night.

So when she got back i took her to taco bell. Yea i had to get some fuckin nachos before i went on my diet. and i sat her down and had a nice descussing with her. Pretty much i said that i dont fuckin trust her as far as i can throw her and i was pissed because im going to be the one to find out that Ryan cheated on her and have to be the one to tell her cause im the only one with enough balls. But since everything i say is "talking shit" i told her straight up that if i found n e thing out i wouldnt tell her cause i dont fuckin trust her

it was kinda funny.

so i guess we are ok now but i still dont really trust her. and ryan and i are just friends. it is weird. i used to be obsessed with that kid but since i kissed Nik i feel nothing for him. I dunno. and im totally fucking confused about Nik. Who fucking knows what is going on with that kid. Thats what you get for fallin for Punk rockers. They are fucking confusing.

So pretty much if you were bored enough to read this whole thing, I'm srry. I bet you can find something better to do with your time. lol

hey i havent been on here lately cause i have been moving and stuff and the computer wasnt hooked up...but i am back on....and of course now i had to go and break my fuckin camera the other day...well i am not sure if it is broken....i might have just like fucked up the focus on it ...but i cant take pictures at all and im going to work on that....so yea...i dunno...im pissed....so yea...it sux...and i hate the new house...people are ass holes...i hate people...and family at the moment...i wanna become a hermit so i dont have to deal with bitchypeople....ok...ifeel better now...

when i was on the john earlier....i was think about people who commit suicide...dont ask why just go with it...

to me...they are the most selfish people alive...

no matter how bad you feel...

how bad you hurt

some one out there is going to hurt 10 times more

when they find out your never going to see them again